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♪ MTV ♪
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[chuckling]
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[rock music]
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♪ ♪
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[chuckling, splatting]
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[grunts]
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[both chuckling]
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[grunts]
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Ketchup kicks ass.
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You know, it just doesn't
get any better than this,
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Butt-Head.
[chuckling]
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These are the times
we will always look back on.
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[squelches]
- Hey!
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Uh--
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You do this?
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Well, Butt-Head
didn't mean to, um--
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he was, um--
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Butt-Head?
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Kick his ass.
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[chuckles]
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Uh-oh.
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You little punk-ass bitch!
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You and I are throwing
hands after school.
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3 o'clock in parking lot B.
See you there.
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That guy is cool.
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Maybe him kicking your ass
will be on Worldstar.
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[chuckles]
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It's important that,
whoever you're photographing,
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to understand that posing is
actually gonna bring out--
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So who is this guy?
What's he doing?
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[chuckling]
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Uh, well, he says
he's a photographer,
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but I don't see a camera.
[chuckling]
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So you have a guy
in front of you
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and you think,
where on Earth do I start?
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Yeah.
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"Where on Earth do I start?
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His whole body is a feast."
[chuckling]
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"I mean,
do I have sex with him?
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"Do I murder him?
"I mean--or how about both?
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I mean, why choose, you know?"
[chuckling]
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Now, body language
will suggest that
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he's feeling uncomfortable.
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"He's probably uncomfortable
because he just
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saw me lock all the doors."
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[both chuckling]
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And actual posing, and
getting people to mirror you,
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is the easiest way for someone,
uh, to understand posing--
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"For example, right now,
I'm posing as a photographer."
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[both chuckling]
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We've only met once before.
We have--
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"Now, we've only
met once before.
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"It was at a bus station.
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But I've met a lot
of men like you."
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"Young, good looking,
just ran away from home,
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didn't tell anyone
his whereabouts."
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"Just ripening
into manhood."
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Now, here's the
before and after.
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By the way, this is Jacob.
I call him a Disney prince.
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"See, Mom?
He calls me his Disney prince.
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He wouldn't do that
if he was a pervert."
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[both chuckling]
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So maybe just undo that.
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"Maybe undo that,
maybe undo your belt
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and drop your pants."
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"Again, I'm not
doing anything.
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You're doing this
of your own free will."
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"You know what?
Just for kicks,
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"let's have you take off
your clothes.
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Yeah."
- "Yeah, let's get all crazy."
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[chuckling]
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"Oh, you know what
would make a cool photo?
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If you were tied up
in my trunk."
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"You know, let's just try it.
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"You know, if it doesn't work,
it doesn't work.
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But I think
it's gonna work, yeah."
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Framing the boys right now.
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We don't want to
frame the boys.
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"Yeah, my next video
is gonna be how to pose
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"a dead body.
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You start out by posing
as a photographer, see."
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Uh, didn't you go to
a photographer's house once
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to take pictures?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, he didn't have
a camera, either.
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Uh, OK.
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Where'd you meet him?
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It was just on the highway,
you know.
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I was just,
you know, walking along,
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and he pulled over.
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[both chuckling]
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OK, Beavis.
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I helped him bury this,
like, big roll of carpet
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he had wrapped in a blanket,
and, uh,
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he said I deserved
a reward, you know, so, um,
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I went back to his place,
you know.
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Then it gets a little
blurry from there.
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[both chuckling]
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But then when I left,
he did ask me to forgive him.
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I do remember that, yeah.
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Yeah, good guy. Yeah.
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Uh, cool.
[chuckling]
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Hope you enjoyed that.
We'll see you soon.
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I'm scared, Butt-Head.
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That guy's gonna kick my ass
at 3 o'clock.
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Yeah.
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This is gonna be cool.
[chuckling]
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Damn it, this sucks.
[chuckling]
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Uh, why don't you just
kick Steve's ass instead?
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Kicking someone's ass is easy.
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Yeah, yeah.
You do it to me all the time.
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I can, like,
teach you everything
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you need to know to be good
at fighting before 3 o'clock.
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Whoa, really?
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Yeah, thanks, Butt-Head.
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But if I am to train you,
I need your total commitment.
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I need to know that
you're willing to do
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whatever it takes,
no matter how difficult,
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to kick this guy's ass.
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Otherwise,
I'm not going to waste my time.
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[chuckles]
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Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm ready, yeah.
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All right, then.
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I'll meet you in the gym
after my second lunch.
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[chuckling]
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[dramatic music]
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♪ ♪
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Here I am, Butt-Head.
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Are you ready to
do everything I say,
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without question?
- Yes, I am. Yes.
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[chuckling]
- Very well.
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Then go to Maxi-Mart
and buy me some nachos.
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Um, wait a minute.
How's that gonna--
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Do not question me.
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My methods are, like, unconventional.
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OK, OK.
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♪ ♪
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Butt-Head!
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Butt-Head, I see why
you made me do that.
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Paying for the nachos
is the exact same motion
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I can use to block a punch,
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a-and carrying them over here
gave me the exercise I need--
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No, that's not it.
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Better go buy me
some more nachos
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until you figure it out.
[chuckling]
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[panting]
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♪ ♪
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Here you go.
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Butt-Head, I still can't
figure out why you're making me
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buy all these nachos.
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Uh, that's OK.
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I can't eat anymore.
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OK.
Let's see what you've learned.
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Lesson one.
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Ah! Ow!
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You dumbass, you got
to hold your hands up
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to protect your face.
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Come on.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, like I'm paying
for nachos, yeah.
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Are your hands up high?
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Yep, they sure are, yeah.
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Good.
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[screams]
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You didn't learn anything.
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[chuckling]
- [groaning]
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Damn it.
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[grunts]
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Steve's gonna kick my ass
pretty soon.
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Maybe I'll just go, like,
hide until everyone leaves.
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[chuckling]
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Yeah.
Yeah.
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Yeah, let's find some
place to hide here.
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Here we go, yeah.
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Whoa!
[chuckling]
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What have we here?
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Cones.
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[shoes squeaking]
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Check it out, Butt-Head.
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[snickers] There's no way
Steve can kick my ass now.
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He can hit me as much as
he wants, and I won't feel it.
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Come on, Butt-Head.
Hit me anywhere.
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[grunts, chuckles]
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Damn it.
Wait a second, wait a second.
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Um, Butt-Head,
my stick's stuck.
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I can't fight without my stick.
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I think one of these buttons
can, like,
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lower the basketball hole
or something.
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[chuckling]
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Uh--
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[whirring]
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That should do it.
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Wait a second.
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Ah!
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Help, Butt-Head!
195
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Let go of the stick,
ass-munch.
196
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I'm too high up.
197
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You got to lower it.
[grunting]
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Damn it.
Ah!
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Stop! Stop!
200
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Ah!
Help, Butt-Head!
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Dumbass.
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Ah! Stop!
203
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,104
- Stop!
- Hold still, Beavis.
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I got to get you down
so you can get your ass kicked.
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Ow!
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Ah!
207
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,315
Good job, Beavis.
208
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,684
Time to get going.
209
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,654
Do you feel ready
to fight that guy?
210
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,122
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
211
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,291
Yeah, I think I'm ready.
[chuckling]
212
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,793
That's right.
213
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,928
You're a different man than
you were at lunch, Beavis.
214
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,664
Yeah, that's true.
215
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:19,366
Thanks for believing in me,
Butt-Head.
216
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,168
I believe in you, Beavis.
217
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,903
I believe you're a wuss.
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[chuckles]
219
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:26,439
Is it time?
220
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:29,677
[dramatic music]
221
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:30,978
♪ ♪
222
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,913
3 o'clock, Beavis.
223
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,915
It is time.
224
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,917
3 o'clock.
225
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,318
[chuckles]
226
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:45,593
♪ ♪
227
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,835
Um, where is everyone?
228
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,169
Where's Steve?
229
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,138
Uh,
230
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,208
he must have chickened out.
231
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,644
He probably heard about
how I trained you up,
232
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,445
and he got all scared.
233
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,914
Yeah, yeah!
234
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,315
Yeah, that means
I'm the champion, Butt-Head!
235
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,750
I'm the champion!
Yeah!
236
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,719
I'm the--ah!
237
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:15,388
You were the champion, dumbass.
238
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,357
Damn it, Butt-Head.
[both grunting]
239
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,859
Ow!
240
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,929
♪ ♪